Things I Never Thought I’d Say

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I was told on numerous occasions by the veterans of motherhood that you’d be amazed with the strange things you will, not may, but will say. It’s completely true. I was amazed by the truth of it when i had my first child, but the things that have come out of my mouth since having my second, dear lord! They are so out there that even I find myself repeating them out of shock and amazement.

Son, don’t headbutt me.
Stop sniffing your brother’s butt!”
Seriously son, look where you’re running. You will run into a wall like you did last time if you don’t look ahead!
Whatever your name is, stop it!

I regularly consider sharing these comical statements with family and other times I wonder if I’m the first one having to say some of these things. I know I’m not but dear lord I would love to meet some moms out there having to yell things like;

It’s not nice to drool all over your brother. I just put him in that outfit.

Or the ever embarrassing;

Please don’t bite my butt! That’s gross!