I am a movie-a-holic to a degree and when Sandra Bullock’s character in Hope Floats was told that she was so pleasin’ by her mother and she told her mother she had to be pleasin’ I could relate.
I spent the first 10 years of my life with my father’s side of the family. My grandfather was from the east coast and my grandmother is from the south. I was encouraged to be very proper and polite due to their background. I was three years old when sir, ma’am, and Miss were important parts of my vocabulary; thank you and may I please and excuse me were also mandatory for any conversation. I still am notorious for getting a slight southern drawl when I speak to my father’s side of the family and say sir to the point of annoying my husband.
I spent the next decade with my mother’s side of the family, a semi traditional Mexican family. This side encouraged me to be polite, try to make those around me to be comfortable, always try to be hospitable. In my family we are prone to serve and be sure the men in the home are fed and taken care of before we stop and take care of ourselves. Sadly I took on these pointers on how to be a good woman to an extreme. I learned the hard way over and over that there is a point where you need to stop being so damn pleasing.
What I am starting to realize that bending over backwards on a regular basis to be pleasin’ to all around me is becoming a detriment to myself. Most don’t completely get my limitations due to my health problems, honestly I don’t advertise it all that much as I don’t want people to pity me. I’m a strong incredible woman, though I don’t feel that way all of the time I know it is true. I’m still learning my limitations, and I’m learning where I have to put my foot down to take care of myself. For some reason my husband seems to get this a lot better than I do.
I’m learning to be me but not to hurt myself in the process, I think it is time to not be so damn pleasin’. It only took nearly thirty years for that to click. Can you tell I’m a bit hard headed?