Yes, I know the obvious differences, body parts, hair growth, DNA. My husband and I are different, he is a good foot taller than me, has straight hair, is fair and has dreamy blue green eyes. I’m short, olive, with dark brown eyes, you get the point. I have been reminded time and time again how different my husband and I are. We are a happy fit, we have a good rhythm and work nicely together.
I have had the joy of working with him in some large catering events and at home in the kitchen. We have had some small kitchens during our marriage and yet seem to be able to work together well, it has become a lovely graceful dance. Often he and I do a dance when it comes to taking care of our toddler and taking care of our home and each other. That being said, we are still so different.
We are both type A personalities, in our own special ways. Our son has picked up on it, he likes certain things to be a certain way. Example: He has to have his train put away with the wheels all pointing in the same direction in their cubbies. He can handle some messes but food spills drive him nutty.
Back to my husband and I, we are different in how we do chores. Both of us have had to learn neither of us are doing anything wrong, we just do things differently to work towards the same end result. Example: I cook a meal and love for the dishwasher to be loaded by the time I am plating a meal. Oil, seasonings and food is put away. I wipe down counters as I go and if possible have the dishwasher running by the time we sit down to eat.
My husband, on the other hand, will make a lovely meal and have most of the dishes piled up in the sink, food put away and have a few seasonings and oil out. Pans cooling on the range. He is much more concerned in getting the family at the table and enjoying our meal than making sure the kitchen is clean before sitting down. He will clean the kitchen later and I know that. There is nothing wrong with this, but it still makes me a bit twitchy.
We do laundry differently. I do small chores or have small projects going that are easily stopped and started. I am constantly keeping an eye on where the loads are at in their cycle and as soon as the dryer dings I have the load out and the load from the washer in and I’m folding the laundry. As soon as the laundry is folded I put it away. I hate having laundry hanging out in out small laundry room or folded in a basket in our room.
My husband on the other hand is busy multitasking. He usually needs to finish his thought or where ever he is in his process, then he checks on the laundry. He has no problem leaving a basket of folded clothes at the foot of our bed for a few hours, sometimes even overnight. This isn’t a crime yet again, I’m usually left twitchy and he just looks at me like I have lost a bit of my mind. He doesn’t get it.
I don’t get why he has to watch a movie from beginning to end even if he isn’t enjoying it. Why his keys have to be on the key hook before he takes off his shoes when he gets home. We both have our quirks.
We approach diaper changes differently, we dress our toddler differently (ironically my husband is pickier than I am about what our son wears), we play with our son differently. This doesn’t bother me. I know my husband adores our children and he is only doing what is in our son’s best interest, I also know that my husband’s part in our sons lives is HUGE. He also doesn’t seem to mind how I do these things either, he likes that we have a different approach to these mundane things. It makes life interesting.
Men and women are different, and the differences can be fun and amazing or annoying and frustrating. I am still finding new differences and it blows my mind and gives me a new lesson to learn. I’m still having fun discovering our differences.